When I was a junior in high school,

I bought succulents. I had heard

They were easier to take care of because

They’re “low maintenance.”

They were pretty flowers that I could have.

So, I bought them with my mother’s money,

Made a little place

In the little space there was

In our little apartment.

If I could survive here, so can they, right?

But, they wilted.

I tried giving them

Less water,

More water.

I thought this was supposed to be easy.

But, one by one, petals

Dried and fell apart.

Rose blossoms


But, I didn’t want to throw them away,

But, I didn’t understand how to take care of them.

Did I really try my best?

I was so busy.




But, so are bees. How do they do it?

Was it

My fault? Did the succulents

Give up? Was it

Just not meant to be? Who’s to

Blame for death that’s seemingly natural until

It happens to you? I

Stopped having plants after that.

In college, I gifted succulents to a friend.

Maybe, they could better take care of them.

She seemed capable,

Liked the color green,

Yet, also, could not keep up with the inevitable.

I’ve met Plant People.

And, I’m jealous.

How do I do that, too?

I don’t trust myself.

Only, five years later, did I even look up the succulents’ names:

Echeveria elegans and

Haworthia cymbiformis.

I read The Little Prince the year prior to the original purchase. I should’ve

Known better.

They’re native to different hemispheres. I should’ve

Known better.

I just remembered that I used to snap off petals to satiate

Some fleeting desire for destruction. I should’ve

Known better.

I can’t trust myself.

Meet the Author

Amber Jane Sayoc

4th year


Asian American Studies

"Amber likes making Spotify playlists, reading webtoons, and watching anime. Her go-to order at Blenders is red banana with soy milk and total supplement. In her post-grad planning journey, she currently is trying to figure out how to better believe in herself and her writing. She's worn several hats in KP: Co-Chair, political chair, FIERCE mentor, PCN marketing coordinator, PGRAD intern. Feel free to message her questions, comments, or compliments (LOL) because she loves words of affirmation and quality time. "

Visit Amber's personal website here.



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